We have a puppy -- he is healthy, loving, sweet, playful and kind and looks up at you with these midnight-blue, inquisitive eyes and loves to fall asleep at your feet on the couch. But, instead of being delirious and ecstatic with excitement, I am a complete and utter wreck, every fiber of my being is in a state of disruption and shock. I thought that getting a dog would complete the family picture (I was raised by a Zenith and grew up watching sitcoms from the 1950's after day after school, what did you expect) and teach the kids about responsibility and looking after the needs of someone else and I really do love dogs -- I just never realized that I can't live with one. People warned me -- I didn't listen, the humongous chip on my shoulder still there from surviving infant twins. So, here I am with a puppy who needs me and loves me and follows me around like, well, a puppy, and I am wreck. I am oversatured with puppy information and advice from other dog lovers and have bought every gadget to make the doggie easier to adjust to our house.
I also thought that having a dog would force me to ease up on my OCD and neat-freak tendencies and have me relaxed more about disorder, but instead it has kicked all my neuroses into high-gear. I've become a cleaning and germ-eradicating machine, fanatically scrubbing and washing every surface that the puppy has touched and cleaning up any random doggie hairs. I am hoping that this gets easier; I've already been through post-partum depression -- it wasn't pretty and I barely made it through -- not sure that I can go through this again. Meanwhile, we have a new addition -- did I mention that he loves to curl up at my feet?
2 comments:
I'm listening to my new puppy wail as I write this, and I'm crying over the exact same situation. She's a touch over two months. A Rott/Shephard mix and probably one of the best puppies ever. We've already taught her to sit...basically. So, why don't I want to be with her or play with her or why do I even question whether I like her? I feel like a terrible person because I don't want to watch this adorable little furry ball of energy every second of every day. I even have an animal behavior related degree. I've worked at shelters. I've dog sat for a dozen people at least. And, I feel like, if it wouldn't be heartbreaking to my boyfriend who has already bonded with her after one week, I'd take her back to the shelter in five seconds. I've read elsewhere that I will eventually get over this. I wonder, you posted on Jan 1. Is it any better? Do you still have your dog? I'm seriously considering re-homing her regardless of my bf's objections. I just feel like if I can't love her than someone else should be able to. She's an angel, really. So why don't I feel that way about her?
I have to say that it has gotten a tad bit easier, however, every day I say to myself, "What in the world did I get myself into here." Today I was home sick from work and had to go out in the freezing cold every hour, making me even more miserable. I think about rehoming him every day, but I know that I would never forget him and the kids would be miserable. So, I am learning to cope with mess and more chaos. We also go to puppy training school on Saturdays, which is a big help and I hired someone to walk him at lunchtime, which has helped out a lot. Hope that it gets easier for you. Keep in touch!
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